OMG! WTF?

So, I live in a small town. Everyone knows everyone's business. By business I mean, when the mayor's wife was busted for TWELVE counts of felony attempting to illegally obtain a controlled substance... the whole town goes into spastic fits. The phone lines melt and the interwebs are slow as hell from all the activity. It's insane. Granted, our mayor is "notorious" for certain "activities" that may or may not be illegal... I never pegged his wife for a dope-fiend. She works for the hospit... oh, I get it now. Hmmm... I'm a little slow to the draw lately. I get it now.